Okay, I know I have been a non-working, stay at home mama for a little over a year now, but sometimes I still feel like I'm just not getting the hang of it. It is HARD work. It has been such a change from working full time outside of the home, to watching this little girl full time..When we lived in California, I worked from 6am til 2:30 mon-fri. So, I saw Marlee for a couple hours in the evening, and then put her to bed. So now that I'm really present with her, I sometimes still have no idea what to do.. I was used to practically having the whole day to myself, so when we moved here I had an 8 month old to myself all.day.long..It was a BIG change! It was a change I did, and still love, don't get me wrong, but a change nonetheless.
To be honest, a lot of the times, I feel like I'm doing an awful job. There's so much worry and guilt wondering if you're playing with them enough, or teaching them enough... I'm sure these are normal feelings, and I'm sure I'll get into a system and get organized with things as time goes on, but geeez, who knew a 20 month old little girl could be so much work?? Oh, that's right, probably everyone but me... :)
I've been trying to slow down lately and really cherish the little moments I have with her. When I'm busy cleaning the kitchen and she begs me to hold her, I sit down on the kitchen floor and do it. Before, when I was making dinner and she would be whining at my feet I used to tell her to go and play with her toys, but lately I've been sitting her on the counter with a bowl and whisk and I let her "help" me make dinner. I've been trying to make small changes in my routine to include her more, and be more present with her, and I feel like it's helped a lot. All in all, I just want to be a good mommy to my sweet girl, and I hope I'm doing enough.. Please tell me I'm not alone in my mommy anxieties..
Here are some pictures from the past few weeks!
She is loving trying to dress herself!! She put her socks on today and was SO proud of herself!!
She was being super quiet in her room, and I just KNEW she was doing something naughty. I walked in to find that she had made a little bed for herself, using her puppy as her pillow, her baby next to her (like always) and reading a book. It was so sweet.
watching me make some dinner!
She LOVES looking at her fish. I have to put her up on the counter so many times throughout the day so she can give them kisses and hugs.
Taking a picture. She always gets mad because all she wants to do is look at the pictures, and not take them, hence the angry face! :)
I love this little girl with all of my heart!!
